Dec. 23, 2025

Why Trump’s "Patriot Games" are the Hunger Games Sequel Nobody Asked For

Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it.

A PROCLAMATION ON THE GLORY OF THE PATRIOT GAMES AND THE FREEDOM 250

By the authority of the Greatest Election Win in History, and because the ratings demand it, I, Donald J. Trump, your President and the Founder of the Patriot Games, do hereby issue this decree for the 250th Year of our Win:

Let it be known that on this July 4th, we are ending the era of losers and bringing back the era of Champions. We have built a Triumphal Arc—it’s bigger than the one in Paris, frankly, it makes theirs look like a dollhouse—and under it, we will see the most beautiful athletes the world has ever seen. One boy and one girl from every state. The best of the best. No “woke” sleepers, no “nasty” people who don’t love their country, and absolutely no men playing in women’s sports. I promised you that, and I always deliver. We’re going to have a beautiful competition, and if you win, you get the Warrior Dividend. If you lose, well, you shouldn’t have been a loser.

The fake news will say this is “dystopian.” They don’t even know what that means. It means “very successful.” It means “strong.” We are going to have a UFC fight on the lawn, we are going to have the biggest fireworks in history, and we are going to show the world that America is finally being run by someone who knows how to put on a show. To our tributes: May the ratings be ever in your favor. It’s going to be very special. See you at the Arc!

It is June 2026, and the humidity in Washington D.C. is currently rivaled only by the suffocating sense of deja vu. The year 2026 was always going to be a “Quarter Quell” for the American experiment, but few expected the celebration to involve a literal arena and high-definition cameras tracking the sweat of teenagers from the “Swing Districts.” On this June evening in 2026, we find ourselves watching the transformation of the National Mall into a gilded theater of the absurd, overseen by a man who has finally realized his lifelong dream: becoming the Coriolanus Snow of the Western World. President Trump, from his balcony at the new “White House-a-Lago,” has decreed that the 250th anniversary of the founding will not be a somber reflection on democracy, but a high-stakes, nationally televised “Patriot Games” that rebrands American history as a UFC prelim.

The origin story of these games is a classic Snow move. Just as the original President Snow took the messy, starving aftermath of a rebellion and turned it into a sleek, glamorous pageant to cement his legacy, our current Head Gamemaker has taken a “boring” historical milestone and given it the ratings-gold treatment. He has founded these games on the principle that “winning” is the only virtue, and that the only way to truly unite the country is to force everyone to watch their children compete for his approval under a giant “Triumphal Arc.”

The mandate is chillingly familiar to anyone who survived the YA dystopia craze of the 2010s. For the uninitiated, the YA dystopia is a literary genre where a post-apocalyptic society—usually called something like "The Union" or "Panem"—is governed by a totalitarian regime that maintains order through elaborate, televised survival games. Every state—from the loyal “Careers” in the Deep South to the rebellious “Districts” of the Pacific Northwest—is required to send one male and one female “tribute” to the Mall. It is a masterful flex of centralized power. By demanding that even the “nasty” governors of blue states hand over their best athletes, he is reminding the nation that his reach is absolute. It doesn’t matter if you’re a “low-energy” governor or a “dog” of an activist; your children will run, jump, and fight in his arena, or they will be branded as “losers” of the highest order.

Then comes the “Quarter Quell” twist, a move so calculated in its cruelty that it would make the Gamemakers of Panem blush. In his announcement, the President revealed his “Secret Rule” for the 250th anniversary: the total exclusion of trans athletes. It is his way of ensuring the “purity” of the spectacle, a targeted strike designed to satisfy the bloodlust of his “Capitol” base. He speaks of “protecting the women,” though we remember his past descriptions of “nasty women” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” It is the ultimate satirical irony: a man who has spent decades disparaging women is now the self-appointed guardian of their “athletic sanctity,” provided they are “beautiful” enough to make for good television.

The aesthetic of the Patriot Games is where the Snow comparison truly takes flight. While Snow had his white roses and sterile marble, Trump has his gold-leafed “Arc de Trump” and high-gloss UFC octagon. He understands that the Brand is more important than the Law. If the people are sufficiently entertained by the sight of a 17-year-old from Ohio sprinting toward a $1,776 “Warrior Dividend,” they won’t notice that the “Triumphal Arc” is being built directly over the cracks in the Constitution. In his world, there are only two categories: the “Great Patriots” who bow to the spectacle, and the “disgusting” people who think a birthday should be about something as flimsy as liberty.

In this new world, there is only the show, the ratings, and the President.

FTS